I, Tim Rogers, Am a Former Football Player

I was reading this story in the DMN about a guy who was charged with murder. Here’s the online headline: “Ex-Euless Trinity Football Player, Now 27, Accused of Fatally Shooting Woman at Hurst Apartment.” So a decade ago, this guy played football in high school. When I finally go insane from writing Real Housewives of Dallas recaps and I come to work and bludgeon Zac to death with a spud wrench (it’s so specific that it almost makes you think I’ve given it a lot of thought, right?), I want the same sort of headline. I played football for the Cistercian Preparatory School For Wayward Boys, in Irving. Even caught a few touchdown passes in 1988. So something like “Ex-Cistercian Football Standout, Now 46, Accused of Honor Killing.” That would work. Thank you for your time.