“H-E-Beelzebub Day” doesn’t work at all, but that headline makes me giggle. “Beelzebub” is a funny word.
The folks at H-E-B HQ must be popping bubbly and high-fiving each other. “Y’all, check out the front page of the Dallas Morning News. We got nearly the entire space above the fold. Does anyone say ‘above the fold’ anymore? Anyway, it’s like the Tyler Morning Telegraph or something. I’m not downplaying how kickass our grocery stores are, but I never expected this sort of fawning from a major metropolitan newspaper that has won eight Pulitzer Prizes. Pass the Champagne.” I assume at H-E-B HQ they drink real Champagne, so it’s capitalized.
“H-E-B-boy” would be a great headline if Post Malone ever had a concert in a grocery store.
Tom Fox took that photo. He was part of the team that won the Morning News’ last Pulitzer, in 2006 for breaking news photography, in the course of covering Hurricane Katrina. He was a Pulitzer finalist in 2020, for taking these images of a would-be killer wielding an AR-15. He quite literally put his life on the line to get those pictures. What I’m saying is, Tom Fox is a total badass. Yesterday he took pictures for a story about the opening of a grocery store. I wonder if he was like, “Eff me. I can’t believe I’m trying to get the right exposure in a Frisco grocery store.” Or if he was more like, “I’m so glad there’s no chance I’ll get shot or drown today.”
Wait. You can rent ladder trucks? Because if I can rent a ladder truck, my weekend just got more fun.
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