WARNING: This post contains adult language, references to smoking cigarettes, and flashing lights.
Have you seen the Bart Reagor video yet? He’s the owner of Reagor Dykes Auto Group who was just sentenced to 14 years in federal prison and ordered to pay $9.4 million in restitution for lying to a bank. Along with the press release of the sentencing, the DOJ dropped some video of Bart Reagor addressing his salespeople. I can’t stop watching it. Check out these two clips:
Bart Reagor is Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross if Baldwin freebased crank and gave himself Merlot enemas. And smoked unfiltered Camels. I like his energy. I’m going to start talking to D Magazine staff in edit meetings the way Bart Reagor talks to his salespeople. Or the way he talked to them before the feds put him in timeout. Like this:
“You gotta want to edit more than you want to live! I do! I’ll fucking die to catch a homophone! I want to use active verbs every fucking day! Every fucking day, every fucking story! Some of you didn’t get a breakfast taco because you didn’t write a funny kicker for a photo caption. Boo fucking hoo! Cry your way to the weak zone! Cry your way to the loser zone! How many times have y’all heard me crying? I can’t be crying because I got to take care of a lot of fucking crybabies. Somebody’s got to be strong! Somebody’s got to be consistent! And somebody’s got to write a punny kicker for a photo of a casual sushi restaurant, something like ‘roll with the lunches.’ I chose me.”
This is going to be great. First I have to buy some black dress shirts.