Last night, I watched The Matrix Resurrections in the comfort of my living room. My 16-year-old daughter joined me for the screening. About 10 minutes into the movie, she said something to the effect of “What is happening?” She hadn’t seen the first three movies, which I suppose is an indictment of me as a father. But let’s save that topic for another time. The point is: my girl was confused. So I paused the movie and tried to explain the backstory to her, which I quickly realized was going to be a fruitless exercise. She abandoned the flick at some point during the first gun battle.
If you haven’t been following the Jovan Philyaw saga, for the purposes of this post you are basically my 16-year-old daughter. If I tell you that he invented the CueCat and helped launch Susan Powter’s career and changed his name to J. Hutton Pulitzer and got involved with the Cacheology Society of America and the National Treasure Society and a Roman sword found in Canada and then did something with the Cyber Ninjas in the kooky Arizona vote audit and got mocked by Rachel Maddow, you are just going to get confused and walk away. Which is actually fine. Because this post probably doesn’t deserve any more of your attention than does The Matrix Resurrections. They are both space fillers. Quality space fillers. But space fillers nonetheless.
That said, earlier this month something called the “ReAwaken America” tour came through Dallas (er, Frisco). The three-day event was held at Elevate Life Church. The DMN wrote that the gig “mixes conservative politics, controversial anti-vaccine discussions and conspiracy theories with Christian worship, hymnals and fellowship with like-minded Republican supporters … .” Michael Flynn and Roger Stone and Eric Trump were all there. And so was Philyaw-cum-Pulitzer.
Which brings us to the unsurprising news, via Vice, that a bunch of the attendees have fallen ill, which they believe is the result of having been poisoned with anthrax. The Vice story cites a podcaster who was in attendance and reports that “Pulitzer has not been heard from in several days and he reported more severe complications including ‘body lesions and weeping skin,’” which sounds gross.
To Pulitzer, I offer my thoughts and prayers. To the rest of you: The Matrix Resurrections gets a C+. It’s worth watching. But, like, to make a comparison that is an inside joke for seven people on this Christmas Adam (because it comes before Eve), Lady in the Water is a better film.