This story in the Dallas Morning News yesterday about a new Dallas golf business is terribly confusing, but as I understand it: a woman from Topgolf has started her own golf concept called Drive Shack, and now Rory McIlroy has gotten himself involved with it, to the tune of $10 million, and soon enough Drive Shack will open something in The Colony called Puttery. From the DMN: “The company describes Puttery as a competitive and social golf entertainment experience. The venue will leverage technology to keep score as guests enjoy a modern twist on putt-putt golf that includes cocktails and food.” I suppose you can convince me that a newspaper reporter wrote those two sentences, but they sure sound like a press release.
In any case, I love twists. Modern twists, midcentury twists, neoclassical twists, ranch twists — the more twists, the better. So I have decided to launch my own golf concept that will leverage cocktails and include technology. It’s called Chippery. The driving and putt-putt business spaces are too crowded with copycats. We focus on chipping. Our slogan: “You drive for show and putt for dough, but did you know that you chip for blow?” Sorry, I forgot to mention that Chippery is a money-laundering operation for the Sinaloa Cartel.