As we discussed earlier, the city of Dallas is attempting to ease congestion on the Katy Trail by divvying up days according to where your surname falls in the alphabet. The new rule goes into effect tomorrow. It’s a lousy strategy that won’t work for several reasons. I suggested that I should be allowed to take up position on the trail and shoot people with a paint gun if they get too close to their fellow trail users. I still think that would work. But a reader has suggested another congestion mitigation plan.
We should make the Katy Trail a compulsory all-nude park. Think about it. A bunch of folks are gonna be like, “I’m not getting naked to jog on the Katy Trail. No way! I’m headed over to the Santa Fe.” So right there, you’ve fixed the problem. But there’s an added benefit, beyond the social distancing. This move would obviously generate coverage in the New York Times. You want the rest of the country to know that Dallas is a world-class city? A front-page story about nekkid social-distancing joggers is a good start.
Let’s do this, people!