Tuesday, April 16, 2024 Apr 16, 2024
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Christmas Sweater Scandal at City Hall!

I worry about the future of our city.

Yesterday I brought you some Serious Journalism focused on Christmas Sweater Day at City Council. An alert FrontBurnervian (as all FrontBurnervians are) studied that post and noticed something curious. It appears that a Christmas sweater migrated from the City Council to the Parks and Recreation Board (pictured above). On the right, that’s Councilman Casey Thomas. On the left, that’s Parks Board member Arun Agarwal, from a Parks Department Facebook post. Do you see what I see?I pose the following question: in this world, how many Christmas sweaters exist that depict a llama wearing sunglasses and reindeer antlers? After you’ve arrived at your number, contemplate this follow-up question: what are the chances that a Parks Board member and a councilman serving the same city would both own such a Christmas sweater? Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is the sharing of a Christmas sweater!

While Christmas is all about family and football and Jesus and brightly colored eggs hatched by the Elf on the Shelf, I do not believe that there should be a quid pro quo. I’ll wear your sweater if you wear my sweater. No! There are certain things that are perfectly sharable. Toothbrushes, beds, beers, cheese fries, dreams — fine. But llama-themed Christmas sweaters? At the same City Hall, no less?!

This is a travesty. Expect my complaint to the Ethics Commission to be filed by day’s end.

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