(climbs to the top of the Burj Khalifa)
(sets up insanely big amplifier, so big that it’s kind of weird you didn’t see me with it before and now you’re wondering how I even carried it up this high)
(plugs in mic)
(clears throat so long it sounds like I’m speaking in some sort of Slavic dialect unfamiliar to almost everyone outside of like a tiny piece of tundra almost no one has seen except the one family that has lived there for five generations after a misunderstanding with a king and a washtub and it was a whole thing don’t get anyone started talking about it)
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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From my 14-year-old son, after I asked him if he could imagine how good Doncic would be once he gets into NBA shape, and I quote: “He looks super good now and he’s built like me so he’s gonna be a god.”
