Well on their way to another banger of an 8 and 8 season, the Cowboys decided to keep trying and traded a (guys, come on) 2019 first round draft pick for now-former Raiders wide receiver Amari Cooper, finally replacing Dez Bryant, who is still at home tweeting, so he’s basically me, except even I don’t tweet that much anymore. Who is Amari Cooper? Let’s find out!
• His first name is Amari, which has African-Yoruban origins and means “strength.” It’s similar to Amar’e Stoudemire, who played for the Mavericks for one season and last played for [checks notes] Hapoel Jerusalem of the Israeli Premier League, which exists.
• He was the No. 4 pick in the 2015 draft out of Alabama.
• He went to high school in Florida with Teddy Bridgewater.
• Cooper has fumbled four times in his career and lost one of them.
• He was good for two seasons, then not really at all for one and a half.
• He can run and jump faster than I can. We are even on hands. I’m a little bit better at running routes.
• Amar’e Stoudemire really did play for a team in the Israeli Premier League. It’s a little thing called research. Here is a recent picture of him trying to blow a shofar.