Yee-haw! Welcome to another edition of “This Week in ‘Everything is Bigger in Texas,'” where we take a short break from riding horses, shooting guns, and eating fast food in our bland suburbs to round up—as one rounds up a herd of wayward cattle on the open prairie—some of the most egregious and most recent uses of the ultimate Texas cliché in national and local publications.
Here’s USA Today, in its lead for a story about Texas Sen. Ted Cruz playing a charity basketball game with television host Jimmy Kimmel:
Everything is bigger in Texas, including sports showdowns.
How about them Cowboys, y’all? Here’s the Kansas City Star on those gosh-darned rattlers, always a-slitherin’ and a-bitin’ us cowpokes:
Since everything is bigger in Texas you have a cornucopia of venomous snakes that include nine kind of rattlesnakes, coral snakes, copperheads and say hello to North America’s only venomous water snake: the 4-foot water moccasin. In Texas talk, these snakes come in sizes that range from so big they have to “sit down in two shifts” to being as “wide as two ax handles.”
Well, lookie here, the Austin American Statesman is writing about the “10 Things Everyone Should Do at UT Austin.” I hear that’s one of the biggest universities in a big state.
There are few places in the world where more than 100,000 people can regularly gather in one spot and cheer together. Everything is bigger in Texas, including game day. Fans can expect not only a marching band and cheer and pom spirit groups, but also the largest live mascot in college football, the world’s largest Texas flag and an actual cannon going off multiple times.
That’s pretty big. But that’s just how we like it here where the stars are bright and the lights at night. The Dallas Observer, June 14, something something beer:
In Texas, we do things big. Even when a New York brewery comes to town, it knows this. That’s why, on Brooklyn Brewery’s stop in Dallas, it decided to offer a cocktail with not just one Texas whiskey, but two.
How did these Yankee brewers know that things are bigger in Texas? Mighty suspicious, you ask me!
