If you didn’t hear, yet, the Dallas Mavericks made my draft-night dreams come true by selecting—
(clears throat)
(clears throat again)
(chisels podium out of the shinbone of a wooly mammoth bone I found in the basement of Old Parkland)
(clears throat yet again; I guess I have allergies or drank too much dairy or something)
(grabs speech from my assistant)
(leans into microphone)
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKA
DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCIC
What?????????
Let’s get this money.
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