Media

Who Should Be the New Metro Columnist at the Morning News?

They have some openings, at least in theory.

As Alex noted earlier, the Dallas Morning News no longer employs Jacquielynn Floyd and James Ragland, and since Steve Blow is now confining his thoughts to the family holiday newsletter, the paper doesn’t really have a true metro columnist. It’s sort of semantics, since Robert Wilonsky does the same job but I assume got to pick his job title and “city columnist” has more press-card-tucked-in-hatband-of-fedora panache than “metro columnist,’ I suppose. Or does it? (I will also remind you that when Robert’s first column appeared, it was billed as something like “one in an occasional series” and lolololol.)

ANYWAY.

There is an opening, since Robert can’t or at least shouldn’t try to fill all the remaining space left behind, all those column inches that used to be filled by Jackie finding a local-ish angle of a national story and James never taking a side on anything. Who should the DMN hire?

(I should also say right now that this is not going to be dog names.)

I’m kidding. It’s dog names, because as far as I know Mike Wilson still has a dog named Story or, if that beautiful dog has gone to God’s Kennel, he did at one point name a dog Story, and that is only because Reported Essay was a little much. I can’t let that happen again. I won’t. Oh also the Morning News should hire a columnist who is 1) not white, 2) not old, and 3) likes to write, not to be on TV or radio.

Chalupa

Corky

Sir’Zion

Rev. Dongo Pewee

Jempy

Darwin

Shamoil

Salami

Zeus

Armageddon (only if it’s tiny, like crazy tiny)

Phlandrous

Mosthigh

Dr. Dimple

Jamez

Jimbob

La Royce

Lola

Darthvader

Maverik

Quindarious

Yo’Heinz

Beau Titsworth

Chaka

Sixto

Bobo

Aurelian

Pez

Slim Jxmmi

Swae Lee

Rae

Sremmurd

BlocBoy

Maxo

A$AP Puppy

Mackie

 

 

thx

Comments

  • Derek

    Still great.

    • @zaccrain

      derek, thank you

  • billmarvel

    .A year ago I would have said Jim Schutze. it’s still an intriguing idea, but he seems off his feed.

    • PeterTx52

      LOL

  • PeterTx52

    I nominate Tim Rogers