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Our Editor Drank Salt Scrub Thinking It Was Booze

And other reasons why you should check out our feature on how to spend an entire day at a fancy hotel (without actually staying there).
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Elizabeth Lavin

I imagine some readers might have turned to our August feature titled “Take a Daycation: How to get lost and cool down for 12 hours before the summer ends,” and thought that we D editors were simply finding reasons to spend a day by the pool and call it “work.” Those readers wouldn’t be incorrect, exactly, but beyond our own personal gain, our goal was to give readers a vivid picture of Dallas’ various spa-slash-pool experiences. Spa days aren’t cheap, after all, and people should know what they are getting into.

Caitlin Clark, for example, realized she forgot a bathing suit when visiting the Joule and had to wear an unfortunate disposable garment that was, essentially, a diaper for her whole body. That’s an essential note for our readers: do not forget your bathing suit.

Let me give you another example of why it’s important to read an informed editorial about a spa before you visit. This story comes from Ryan Conner, the executive editor of D Home and D Weddings, who recently spent a day at a spa that I won’t name, but, you’ll be glad to know, was not included in our feature. Here is the tale she lived to tell:

“There was a table with a display of water bottles and two big jugs labeled ‘Watermelon Vodkatini’ with little tiny cups sitting beside it. They looked like the cups they were serving smoothies in earlier, and I was so mad I missed out, because the snacks are one of my favorite things about spas. So I thought, ‘Oh, here they are!’ and sat in the relaxation area and started drinking. I immediately felt an intense burn down my throat, and I ran into the bathroom to wash my mouth out. Turns out it was a salt scrub. Luckily, I wasn’t the only weird one in the room. There was another lady who couldn’t find her pants.”

And that, readers, is why you need a guide to spa-going, and why I had to post an Instagram video scanning the Adolphus Hotel’s crystal blue pool on my social media channels, captioned with the words “today’s office.” Because had there been a tub of body butter posing as whipped cream, we would have noted that, too.

Note: this spa feature should not be confused with D Magazine’s current spa packages, though those look like a pretty decent deal. 

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