The Cowboys Are Having a Bad Day

Who’s having a worse day? Is it Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott, already in hot water from 2016 accusations of domestic violence and a pattern of boneheaded misogynistic behavior, now embroiled in controversy for his involvement in a violent “incident” at a terrible Uptown bar? Is it wide receiver and sometime kick returner Lucky Whitehead, whose dog Blitz has apparently been kidnapped and is being held for ransom?

I've taken some time to collect my thoughts on this subject matter, and it's very heartbreaking to say that Blitz has been stolen from my home last Sunday. While out of town, Blitz was being taken care of by a close friend at my house and someone broke in and took him. Whomever stole Blitz has contacted my phone numerous times, demanding ransom money. I strongly advise you to stop and return my boy safely before it gets any worse! If you know of any details regarding Blitz's whereabouts or who may be involved in this, please contact me immediately. 💔 #repost

A post shared by Lucky Whitehead (@luck2fast) on Jul 16, 2017 at 3:54pm PDT

Or is it quarterback Dak Prescott, who has probably been getting roasted for more than a week for admitting to listening to Train’s “Drops of Jupiter” before games?