Tonight, as you have probably heard, Tony Romo will be on the bench for the Dallas Mavericks (and judging by the photos I saw from this morning’s shootaround, he will be donning his familiar No. 9, normally worn by rookie Nicolas Brussino). It’s an elaborate, fantasy-camp-style tribute to the recently retired quarterback, and the team has repeatedly said from the start that Romo will not actually see any game time.
Here’s the deal: I think he is going to play. And I really super hope he does, because it would be insane and perfect and exactly what we all need.
Why do I think this will happen? Short answer: Mark Cuban.
Long answer: Cuban knows how to get attention. Usually this is good. Sometimes, fortunately way less often, it’s recklessly and pointlessly damaging, such as his repeated attempts to shine-block Russell Westbrook. He has a good sense of the moment, even if he occasionally tramples all over it. He is even better, for better or worse, at creating a moment. Forcing one.
And he is almost constitutionally incapable of leaving well enough alone. He always takes thing too far. Which is what I’m counting on, because I love sports chaos, and we are on the precipice of an unforeseen strain of it. I’m so excited I find I can barely keep a thought in my head.
Adding Romo to the roster tonight guarantees the Mavs are in the first five minutes of SportsCenter. Any other owner of a team running out the shot clock on a lost season would be pretty pleased with that. But why settle for that when you could lead the entire broadcast, when at least the first segment of the show would be dedicated to you and Stephen A. Smith arguing with someone about it all the next morning, when local TV might actually break in to cover it live?
There is zero to play for. Less than zero. But I also think Cuban would do it just as a middle finger to the columnists grousing about Romo even being on the bench.
So here is how I think it goes down: after letting anticipation build and playing enough of the game so there isn’t any blowback from the league (well, not too much), Romo enters the game at around the three-minute mark. Pick and roll with Dirk. Crowd reaction is somewhere between an Oprah audience and the end of Raiders. There will be somewhere around 374 columns by cranky white guys who iron their jeans.
It’ll be glorious.
