Tuesday, April 23, 2024 Apr 23, 2024
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Sports News

Sex and Tennis

For Serena Williams and Fort Worth's Mitchell Krueger, love is in the air.
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Photography by Melissa Romig
Photography by Melissa Romig. This is how I feel today.

So, my wife sent a frantic text to our tennis crew this morning announcing that Serena Williams is pregnant after she posted a photo on Snapchat of her presumed baby bump with the understated caption “20 weeks.” (Couldn’t she have waited and just posted “23”? As in weeks and Grand Slams?)

Of course I’m happy for her, but I take it as a personal tragedy that I may never see the GOAT ever play again. Although Davenport and Clijsters came back, right? So did Federer, and he’s playing better than ever—even after twins! And there’s always doubles with Venus. Just last weekend when I was playing in the Houston Major Zone, I watched a couple playing in the mixed doubles 3.0 finals whose combined age had to be at least 160. And they seemed like the kind of people who probably had a passel of kiddos.

With many mixed emotions, and numerous interruptions from Tim about the Reyes lawsuit, I then took my usual mid-morning stroll of the Dallas Morning News website. Where I found this headline:

“This Fort Worth-born tennis player had the perfect reaction when awkwardly loud sex interrupted his match.”

Apparently, during a match between Frances Tiafoe and Fort Worth-born Mitchell Krueger at the Sarasota Open in Florida yesterday, the sounds of love, sweet love could be heard. And they weren’t coming from the umpire calling the score. I didn’t listen to it because I’m in an open workspace and all, but I take Luke Morris’ word that you can hear it at the 15-second and 1:50 marks.

Krueger’s response was to hit a ball in the general direction of the open window. Tiafoe simply yelled, “It can’t be that good!”

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