Politics & Government
Rick Perry’s Confirmation Hearing
The former governor of Texas faces the Senate.

“Governor Perry, before we proceed with today’s hearing, would you care to make an opening statement?”

“Whoa, whoawhoa, whoa — you’re already up to a gallop, missy. Ol’ Rick likes to start out with a trot.”
!["OK. [clears throat] Thank you for inviting me here today, ladies and gentlemen. I know I have a difficult and important job ahead of me, and I want you to know how seriously I take it. Now, as your agriculture commissioner, I plan to -- "](http://assets.dmagstatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/PERRYHEARING2.jpeg)
“OK. [clears throat] Thank you for inviting me here today, ladies and gentlemen. I know I have a difficult and important job ahead of me, and I want you to know how seriously I take it. Now, as your agriculture commissioner, I plan to — “

“I grabbed the wrong durned speech. Jesus carpet-bombing a Kia dealership. I was looking for some inspiration from my old ag-com days and I must’ve just picked it up instead. Well, hell.”
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