Local News

Rewrite This Clunky, Unnecessarily Long Headline

Be an editor! It's fun! Sometimes! I mean, honestly, probably more like "occasionally"!


I haven’t really read this column about one-waying Uptown’s streets. It’s a good idea. I don’t know about the column. I’ve just been staring at the headline, wondering why it’s written like a country song that Eddie Rabbitt cut in 1983 that everyone thought was going to be a hit and then it tanked for whatever reason. Rewrite it for me so I can print it out and tape it over the actual headline and distract myself.


  • Poetaster Dallas

    Dallas’ Up Goes Down, Without the Sex

    • Poetaster Dallas

      Or maybe: Dallas’ Up, Goes Down Without the Sex. I’m a horrible editor. You decide.

  • claytonauger

    While you’re at it, can you put a mandatory limit on how many times the same story can appear in different size fonts and colored-backgrounds down the endless scroll that is the DMN laptop experience these days?

  • Pol Pot

    Democratic Republic of Dallas moves toward ever glorious utopian future by limiting travel options amongst bourgeoisie streets.

  • This might be my favorite post of all time on FrontBurner.

  • Mavdog

    wrong way one way ends.