Sunday, May 29, 2022 May 29, 2022
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Politics & Government

Mark Cuban Will Be Hillary Clinton’s Guest at Third Debate

Oh, man. They really are doing a third debate, huh? Dang.
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CUBAN-BRO

The billionaire owner of the Mavs was also at the first one. But since the election cycle has gotten somehow even crazier and soul-killing and weird and terrible and more like a comment section underneath a major daily newspaper story since then, who knows what his presence in Las Vegas tomorrow night will do to Donald Trump, his longtime foil?

If I were Cuban and I wanted to unnerve Trump, I’d spend the entirety of the debate methodically counting stack after stack of $100s while wearing a Shark Tank shirt. Actually, here’s what I’d really do. I’d go in costume, something like, I don’t know, let’s say Spider-man. But I’d make it more elaborate — like Spider-man, but if he were in disguise as a trucker. So, Spider-man tights with a puffy vest and cap. No, I wouldn’t be wearing the mask; I’d sort of have it rolled up so everyone could see my face. Then I’d just sit there, kind of smirking. He’d spend the whole time wondering what was up, and I’d never do anything.

Oh, I’d also have Hulk hands.

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