A Frenchman Walks Into Downtown Dallas

Him, in thick French accent: “Excuse me. Can you point me to the main street where I will find the shops?”

Me: “Do you mean Main Street or just a main street?”

Him: [confused look]

Me: “So you want a big street where you can find places to shop?”

Him: “Yes, but without the car. I know in Dallas the car is important. But I am only walking.”

Me: “Neiman Marcus is that way [pointing], but it is really expensive. I, uh –”

Him: “I am looking for a place to buy regional things, something to take home.”

Me: “Regional things? I just don’t — well, the thing is. Yeah, you’re not going to find that in downtown Dallas. I can point you to some places to eat. But there’s really no big street where you can just stroll around and shop for stuff.”

Him: [more confusion]

Me: [embarrassment, shame]

Him: “Thank you. I will walk this way.” [heads down St. Paul Street]

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