Someone who knows a thing or two about a thing or two has informed me that new Morning News managing editor Robyn Tomlin has a dog named Boo Radley. Is that a great name for a dog? Not really. Kind of shouts “hey, I read books and stuff!” a little defensively (and unimaginatively — oh, really, you like To Kill a Mockingbird? What are your thoughts on breathing?). But, that said, it’s a way better name for a dog than Story, which is what Morning News editor Mike Wilson named his dog. I guess maybe he thought it was too pretentious to name his dog Manual Typewriter or H.L. Mencken or Strunk and/or White.
Whatever. Here’s a ton more names that are better for a dog than Story.
Tomax
Xamot
Smachimo
Penny
Lucy
Francis The Savannah Chitlin Pimp
Oliver Sacks
Wendell
Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace
Big Daddy Kane
Kane
Ammo
Apple Eagle Weezle
Automatic Weezy
The BB King
The Beast
Big Baller
Big Body
Big Dog
Big Money Weezy
Big Pockets
Big Stick
Big Stunna
Big Tymer
Birdman Jr
Bossman Weezy
Brick Cannon
Bring The Money Home
Candy Carter
The Carter
Cartey
Cash Money Hot Boy
Cash Money Makaveli
Daddy
Deepwater Carter
Deion Sanders
Dr. Carter
Dr. Carter M.D
Eagle Carter
Eddie
Eduardo
Fireman
First Place
Gangsta Gangsta
Groundhog
Heatman
Hi-C
I Can’t Feel My Face
I Got Enough Money On Me
Iceberg Shorty
J.R
Junior
Knievel
Killa
Lil Cardiac
Lil Carter
Lil Birdman Junior
Lil Full Clip Me
Lil Rabbit
Lil Tunechi
Lil Weezle
Lil Weezy
Lil Weezy-ana
Lil Whodi
Little Big Kahuna
Little Russell Crowe
Little Weezy
Little Wizzle
Lord
Money Making Weezy
Mr. Carter
Mr. Coach Carter
Mr. Crazy Flow
Mr. Director’s Chair
Mr. Doctor Carter
Mr. Go-Harder
Mr. I-Can’t-Make-An-Appointment
Mr. Lawn Mower
Mr. Ointment
Mr. President
Mr. Rainman
Mr. Sandman
Mr. Shoot-‘Em-Down
Mr. Swag-more
Mr. Water Coolers
Mr. Weezy Baby
Mr. Withdraws
The New Orleans Nightmare
No Lungs
The Number One Hot Boy On Fire
Ocean Drive Slim
Pac-Man
Payday
President Carter
Porta-Potty Tunechi
Quick Draw McGraw
The Rapper Eater
Raw Tune
Red Alert
The Rhyming Oasis
Settling
Seventeen Creeper
A Shark
Stunna Jr
Survivor
Teardrop Tune
Triple A
Tune
Tunechi
Tunechi Li
Tunechi The Boss
Usain Wayne
Uncle Sam
Weez
Weezy Baby
Weezy Da King
Weezy F
Weezy F Crazy
Weezy The Dime
Weezy The Don
Weezy Wayne
Weezy Wee
Weezy West
Wizzle
Wizzle F Baby
Wizzle Fizzle
Wizzy Fizzy
Young Baby
Young Boy
Young Carter
Young Fly Wizzy
Young God
Young Heart Attack
Young Money Democrat
Young Nino
Young Ozzy Osbourne
Young Pimpin’
Young Popeye
Young Roy Jones, Jr
Young Stunna
Young Tuna Fish
Young Tune
Young Tunechi
Young Wayne
Young Wayne Carruth
Young Weezle
Young Weezy
Young Weezy Baby
Young Wizzle
Wozniak
Maribeth
Grover
Hool
Norman
Rickie
Markus
Jina
Antione
Ted
Lask
Ridge
Montavon
Ryan
Schreckhise
Deangelo
Tonette
Wei
Reginald
Johana
Darrick
Celeste
Tamela
Amanda
Waneta
Wonda
Celestin
Phipps
Mcguirt
Mozier
Kully
Harvey
Marvier
Ards
Pu
Kayleigh
Delana
Sharee
Adelman
Selma
Belia
Emmett
Carter
Kenon
Stoop
Vanda
Mumaugh
Long
Eisenberger
Tsukamoto
Otis
Eversmeyer
Heckman
Suzy
Tony
Cary
Kara
Mozell
Gallob
Harley
Gruner
Deidre
Hank
Neville
Centeno
Soon
Madelene
Herschel
Bogosh
Golding
Josiah
Dubel
Valido
Wegleitner
Kristy
Vernie
Al
Pytlewski
Winford
Marin
Tomika
Refugio
Lomedico
Friesenhahn
Malisa
Ariane
Gathing
Jordan
Demetria
Harris
Hulda
Roosevelt
Chance
Ethan
Chet
Shela
Enriqueta
Ferdinand
Jacques
Lindell
Jacoway
Ulysses
Miki
Jama
Pardew
Hupper
Daisey
Berta
Florencio
Jacalyn
Kelsi
Dion
Lou
Sergio
Tissot
Dorian
Hector
William
Dorcas
Na
Smee
Gilcris
Jacqualine
Wasowski
Eddie
Omer
Craveiro
Belen
Mickey
Lucilla
Moses
Ellinghuysen
Julia
Jenise
Ofallon
Mercurio
Clinard
Hornig
Bogenschutz
Mulverhill
Antonia
Elden
Vandall
Brent
Osvaldo
Jeffrey
Shbi
Bertram
Frederic
Del
Halina
Labitan
Shantelle
Victorina
Deandre
Ahhee
Amos
Dirr
Clarence
Ross
Derick
Freeman
Dortha
Glen
Hong
Diestler
Vangrouw
Marin
China
Hilton
Villanveua
Ahmad
Richie
Horacio
Faustino
Boyland
Loren
Trillana
Baquet
Reinaldo
Kathlene
Giachino
Kay
Burchinal
Lankard
Rosalba
Loria
Saide
James
Elias
Mickey
Kuether
Ellsworth
Ingrid
Payton
Deichmann
Kareem
King
Komorowski
Arturo
Sam
Ashley
Rick
Arau
Glen
Muzzy
Cris
Mundel
Dorian
Roland
Diana
Charline
Christin
Stahley
Willard
Quizon
Jonathon
Harvey
Sung
Remsburg
Alfredo
Blake
Claudie
Kutchera
Veronique
Ducas
Donnie
Maggie
Melda
Mades
Palmira
Mardell
Smolic
Elisabeth
Forest
Giselle
Jimmie
Marlys
Gilkison
Lionel
Galen
Ollie
Stevie
German
Latasha
Dewayne
Albe
Xuan
Nigel
Shanelle
Whiles
Dayhuff
Sausser
Brain
Kandra
Lawerence
Malissa
Margrett
Rickie
Mittleman
Voita
Myles
Bosse
Jospeh
Damien
Pollot
Ulysses
Henry
Penick
Grocott
Sardella
Shera
Tilleman
Dayna
Leonard
Blandford
Jacinta
Wilczynski
Emmitt
Cedric
Chi
Wentzlaff
Starek
Lashonda
Lavenia
Busenbark
Lance
Marionneaux
Levels
Espanol
Sherwood
Meghann
Latshaw
Stoot
Romelia
Ike
Marion
Derick
Edra
Shaun
