Rick Perry Hits the Campaign Trail Again
![[the chorus to Florida Georgia Line's "Cruise" is blaring over the PA system; there is a modest ovation] "OK, OK, OK, hey, OK. Thank you, I -- thank you, alright. OK. Thank you."](http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/PERRYPREZ6.jpeg)
[the chorus to Florida Georgia Line’s “Cruise” is blaring over the PA system; there is a modest ovation] “OK, OK, OK, hey, OK. Thank you, I — thank you, alright. OK. Thank you.”

“Heh heh heh — aw, hell, I’m just messing around. I promised Jeff and Jamie — my new campaign folks — I promised I wouldn’t say anything like that. Actually, I promised I specifically wouldn’t say that.”

“For one thing, they didn’t get the joke. So then I said ‘Adios mofos’ and they thought they were fired.”

“But y’all know I ain’t here to talk about Seinfeld. I’m supposed to introduce you to the new Rick Perry.”

“I thought about changing. But then I realized I had already changed too much. So your boy Rick gave himself a good long look in the mirror. And he asked himself a tough question.”

“But now you got Governor Kermit the Frog following the orders of Alex Jones, who looks like a 9/11 truther had a baby with a pair of Oakleys. And Ted Cruz.”

“Plus, Teddy Ballgag looks like a wax figure of a 1920s silent film star trying to squeeze out a kidney stone.”

“But I’m officially back in the game, and I can promise you one thing. Six months from now, when someone starts talking about that irrationally conservative wingnut from Texas, the first name you’re gonna think of is Ricky Perry.”
Comments