Dallas Cowboy Joseph Randle Arrested For Stealing Cologne

Randle will make at least $555,000 this year.

Randle
Randle

Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle was arrested Monday for shoplifting cologne from the Dillard’s in Frisco.

Here are the possible colognes, ranked by probability:

10: PherX Pheromone Cologne for Men
9: Clubman Virgin Island Bay Rum Body Care
8: Mambo by Liz Claiborne
7: Fragrances Of Ireland Inis The Energy of The Sea Cologne Spray
6: English Leather by Dana for Men
5: Salvatore Ferragamo Acqua Essenziale Eau de Toilette Spray for Men
4: Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan for Men
3: Sex Panther
2: Caesars By Caesar’s World For Men
1: Gucci Guilty

Randle will make at least $555,000 this year.

UPDATE: Oh, my god. It actually was Gucci Guilty.

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Comments

  • zaccrain

    DRAKKAR NOIR, SON.

    • David Hopkins

      You are a man of discerning taste. I’ve always been partial to copious amounts of Old Spice aftershave lotion.

  • LDR4

    The Seahawks probably wish they could prosecute him for all the yards he took from their “vaunted” defense.

  • AeroRazavi

    So are they now gonna scrap plans to put a Macy’s at American Telephone & Telegraph Stadium?

  • Chris Chris

    Well… this stinks.

  • ernest t bass

    Earlier he was seen choppin’ it with one stinky ass hoe.

  • BrentDude

    Have you ever tried to get someone at Dillard’s to take your money? It’s almost impossible.

  • Johnyalamo

    Real men use Lilac Vegetal.

  • Critic

    And now Roger Goddell will need to make another gut wrenching decision. That is why the NFL team owners pay him so much

  • Bizarro Big Tex

    The police report actually says the fragrance item was Gucci Guilty Black Cologne. Just wrong on so many levels.