Hail and Farewell, Ctd.

A road trip bound to full of regrets.


The big question, obviously, is why are we having an unhurried lunch in Texarkana, at a Mexican joint called Ta Molly’s, talking about The Muppet Movie, drawing suspicious looks from Texarkansans, waiting for a guy named Dan to come take away our 2015 Escalade, one of the finest automobiles ever made? The smaller, though no less relevant, question is: have you ever barreled down an interstate at 80 mph, cradled by a leather chair that blows cool air across your buttocks, letting adaptive cruise control essentially drive your car for you? I highly recommend the 2015 Cadillac Escalade — as soon as they fix the passenger-side airbag, the recall for which occasioned our stop in Texarkana, where the aforementioned Dan is rushing to meet us in a replacement automobile, a Yukon XL, year of manufacture unknown. I’m sure the Yukon will suit our needs. But will it chill our bottoms? Questions. Right now, at Ta Molly’s, that’s all we have.


  • I am Spartacus

    Two questions:
    First, why are there only 2 beers on the table that seats 6? Obviously, your driver won’t be drinking, but the rest of you…
    Second, did you get Darren McFadden’s autograph?

  • Wylie H Dallas

    This all seems incredibly shady.

  • Christine P.

    I’m suspicious of this photo. Mike Mooney’s head appears to have been Photoshopped on. And Tim is smiling.

  • losingmyreligion

    And what happened to Simek? I thought you kidnapped him. Or is he stuffed in the Escalade somewhere? Geez, what kind of screwed up road trip is this, you can’t even keep track of your victim. You trying to for a guest spot on Fargo?

  • Patrick Wilder

    As a current D Magazine subscriber and Texarkana resident, I question the decision making skills of your leader…Ta Molly’s? Ugh. That place is terrible. At least you could have a beer…they only recently started serving alcohol.