Museum Tower Should Probably Take Me Off Their Marketing List

What's your definition of "just steps away"?


I promise that I don’t get up the morning and wonder how I’m going to poke fun at Museum Tower. But they keep sending me these marketing emails that demand my attention. Yesterday, I tried to figure out how they could claim that the building is 25 percent sold, when DCAD data suggest it’s more like 12 percent. I did hear back from Barbara Buzzell, their PR rep, by the way. She wrote:

Not every home at Museum Tower is the same size. As you may know, we have nine different published floor plans. Because of the many variable home sizes sold, we have released the aggregate amount of saleable square footage sold. That number is nearly 25 percent of the building’s total saleable square footage.

I asked her if I got any of my numbers wrong. No response from her yet.

Anyway, just as I was adding her comment to yesterday’s post, I got another marketing email from Museum Tower. It was accompanied by the handsome picture you see here. The message read:

Living at Museum Tower, you’re at the center of a world of wonder. Take a look at this month’s collection of the finest art, performances and entertainment just steps away from Museum Tower and nearby.

There followed a list of events that the 14 owners of Museum Tower condos can walk to. The list includes Imagination Playground Klyde Warren Park (nice); “ReMix Ástor Piazzolla: Tango to Argentina” at Dallas City Performance Hall (sounds fun); Spring Break at the Perot Museum (sure, even though that walk along the Woodall Rodgers access road ain’t that pretty); Elton John at American Airlines Center (Yes, that’s doable. Again, not the prettiest walk. But it really wouldn’t make any sense to drive.); Savor Dallas 2014 (Okay, Savor Dallas includes a wine stroll in the Arts District. But the rest of the gig happens at the Omni and the Convention Center. Now we’re talking a pretty ambitious walk. Like, forget doing this in heels. But I guess this falls under the heading of “nearby.”); “FOCUS: Fred Tomaselli” at The Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth (Whoa! Whoa! This isn’t anywhere close to “nearby.” I checked Google maps, and it says that walk will take 11 hours and 20 minutes.); and the Rangers home opener at Globe Life Park (Now I get it. This is a prank, right? You trick someone into buying a condo in Museum Tower. Then, when they come down to the front desk and ask for walking directions to a Rangers game, the front desk guy falls down laughing. That’s gotta be it.).

Glenn Hunter, I await your rebuttal. Do they also do this in L.A. at the Century tower?


  • JSSS

    Yet again, they forgot all about the Nasher. How does that keep happening??!!

  • kk.

    have dinner on the he Paseo del Rio, enjoy live music on 6th Street, strollers in the sand on Stewart Beach…
    Mentioning going to a Ranger game but not The Nasher and all the great events there? Bizarre.

  • GlennTheHunter

    No rebuttal, Tim. You’re right about this one.

    • Tim Rogers

      Dang it. That’s no fun, Glenn. This is like the episode where Maddie Hayes and David Addison hook up. The japes and jabs! THAT’S why people tune in!

    • Brett Moore

      Dogs and cats, living together. It’ll be anarchy.

  • JFPO

    I assumed you did get up every morning looking for a reason to make fun of Museum Tower. We get it…the Parkies are pro-Nasher. This first-world-white-people problem pissing march is beyond ridiculous.

  • Glenn Hunter

    Okay, got it now. Sorry for fumbling. So, this means I’m Maddie, right? Or you’re Maddie–and I’m David?

  • spellcheck

    A “pissing march” has gotta be messy, especially as it cooks in that reflected sunlight. Do all white people do that?

  • Ted

    No, I think he typed exactly what these things look like from the outside, a pissing march, with more than one ambling along in sparkling micturition like Chester Goode from Gunsmoke.

  • Brett Moore

    So Museum Tower is giving the Nasher a golden shower?

  • rvponders

    Well, that is one way to get people to exercise more – encourage walks from downtown Dallas to the Cultural District and the Ballpark.