Whooping Cough Hits North Texas. Have you or your kid been hacking up a lung for a week or two? You might want to get that checked out. North Texas has seen more whooping cough cases than it has since 2004. Dallas County has reported 329 cases so far this year, Denton County 229, and Tarrant 601. You people in Tarrant County are gross. Cover your mouths. No, not with your hand! Use the crook of your elbow! Jeeze.
“More and More Suburban Women Using Heroin.” That’s the headline on this WFAA Channel 8 story. There are all sorts of problems with it. In the video, Rebecca Lopez reports that the DEA says heroin is “flooding” the streets of North Texas. Perhaps a tad hyperbolic. The transcribed version says, “The Drug Enforcement Administration says it is seeing a large number of heroin [sic] on the streets of North Texas …” Not sure what that means. Then Lopez uses a woman from Lakewood as the face of addiction. All those ladies in yoga pants at the Lakewood Whole Foods will be saddened to learn that they live in the suburbs. Anyway, it’s a good headline.
Bogus Cop in Carrollton Assaults Woman. He pulled her over on I-35. He was driving a Crown Vic, had the uniform, the whole deal. Now Carrollton police are telling women to call 911 if they are being pulled over to make sure it’s a legit stop. It’s a strange notion. “Help, police! I’m being pulled over by a cop!” Seems like it would be easier to order all male Carrollton cops not to pull over women until this guy is caught. No? I’ll keep working on it.
Bathroom Bandit Steals Toilet Parts. There is no more diligent student of banditry nomenclature than one Zac Crain. The other day, he did a 10-minute set on the tongue-twisting Mesh Mask Bandit. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say about the Bathroom Bandit.