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New Dress Codes Proposed for Political Activists; Aim Is to Make Thinking Less Complicated

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Frank Sinatra’s favorite color was orange. Orange also is associated with Halloween. Meantime the sky is blue, and many, many people in the world say they like blue. But, what invisible hand ordained that opponents of the tough anti-abortion bill in the Texas Legislature should show up in public clad in orange—including at Dallas City Hall—while the measure’s supporters should be dressed in blue? And, how in hell did they get everybody to go along with the program? Is it some kind of University of Texas at Austin thing? An outgrowth of the state’s football mania?

I mean, where else do political activists put on uniforms to demonstrate? (And while we’re on the subject, where are the pom-poms, anyway?) It’s really not a bad idea, though. At least with these color codes, muddled thinking is out, because you can tell instantly which side people are on. Starting now, for example, I suggest that all pro-immigration activists wear green. Those opposed to immigration reform should wear red. Gay marriage supporters will wear purple; opponents should opt for some sort of traditional plaid pattern, probably in brown. Gun-rights advocates should wear grey, of course; those supporting gun restrictions will wear yellow. They may take a little time getting used to, but, in the end, these new rules will make life easier for everyone.

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