One Betting House Is Giving 10,000-to-1 Odds that Lance Armstrong Will Be the Next Pope

Plano native Lance Armstrong is currently a 10,000-1 underdog to become the next pope, trailing literally every single person cares to list. In slightly less offensive news, the cardinal of the Galveston-Houston diocese, Daniel DiNardo, is going off at  50-to-1 to 100-to-1, depending on the house. It’s also worth noting that he’ll be one of 11 United States cardinals choosing Pope Benedict XVI’s replacement; the United States has the second-highest number of cardinals (19) behind Italy (29). Only 11 will make the trip to the Vatican, since cardinals need to be younger than 80 to vote.


  • Peter Simek

    I like how Francesco Totti is going at 5000-1. If the Romans got to vote on the bishop of their own diocese (as was the case in the early church), I’d see his odds drop to 5-1 at most.

  • Brian

    Slow creative day? Could this post be any dumber?

    • Bill Marvel

      I would have said No, until read Brett Moore’s comment, below.

  • Brett Moore

    Well, he’s already a PEDS-ophile.

    I’m sorry. I had to.

  • Brett Moore

    Aw, my feelings. They hurt.