Tuesday, May 30, 2023 May 30, 2023
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Public Urination and Defecation Are Now Illegal in University Park, So Pull Up Your Pants

By Bradford Pearson |

Up until 5 p.m. Tuesday, University Park was a festering trough of human excrement, the final holdout in a century-long battle against indoor plumbing. It’s the reason the parks are in such great shape. With one vote, though, that all changed.

Public urination and defecation are now illegal in University Park, which is strange to write because how was that not a thing already? The city’s never had it on the books, Park Cities People reporter Sarah Bennett writes, instead handing out citations for indecent exposure or disorderly conduct. Neither of those really fit though, since indecent exposure requires “intent to arouse” and disorderly conduct required that a cop actually see an exposed body part.

“Officers are confused with the proper offense to charge them,” UP Police Chief Gary Adams said. “In order to charge, all elements of the crime have to be present.”

Urinators and defecators can now be charged up to $500 for their indiscretions.

(To read Bennett’s piece, pick up this week’s Park Cities People)