The Onion Analyzes Tony Romo’s, Let’s Say, Proclivity For Crappiness

Back in September, Peter broke down the best game of Tony Romo’s life, a 1997 high school match-up set in Wisconsin. Today, The Onion breaks down the rest of his career.

In a piece titled “ESPN ‘Sports Science’ Segment Reveals Physics Of Tony Romo’s Sh*ttiness,” the paper of record does a deep dive into Romo’s career, from a scientific point of view.

“It was truly fascinating to scrutinize Romo’s pathetic struggles on the field,” said physicist Charles Dunbar. “We are finally starting to unravel the science behind the dumb sh*t tripping over his own feet and falling down well before the pass rushers arrive.”

In case everyone forgot, the Cowboys are scheduled to get pummeled by the Falcons Sunday night.


  • Bradford, I bet you and Tim, and all of the Philly Eagles loved this story…

  • Loopy- Went to college in Philadelphia. Do not support their teams.

  • mynameisbill

    Romo’s such an awesome guy, so awesome in fact, that in last Sunday’s game vs the Giants he threw the ball to someone in the stands in the final seconds of the game….instead of one of his receivers, because the person(in the end zone bleachers) looked like they needed some cheering up. That’s how great he is! He would rather put a smile on someone’s face, by throwing them a game-ball, then throw a touchdown(at least make an attempt to) and win the game. What a guy!