Someone in Denton Wants to Sell You a Pillsbury Doughboy Puppet, For Only $10!

Source: Craigslist. Also, my nightmares.

Every once in a while I glide through the Dallas Craigslist page. It’s mostly lonely, chafed men looking for love or selling Chevy Impalas, but sometimes there’s gold in them thar links.

Today’s stroll was no exception. Between all the 20-inch rims and flip phones was the fella to the right, Poppin’ Fresh.

According to its current owner: “Still has hang tag, never played with, just displayed. Opening in back to insert your hand. 1987. About 13 inches high when seated. Perfect condition. $10.”

So many questions.

1. Has this puppet been on display since 1987, or was it just part of a 1987 collection of food-stuff puppets?

2. If it has been on display the entire time, what else is on this display?

3. Please say additional food-stuff puppets.

4. $10? Really?

5. Don’t you think Poppin’ Fresh is sad he’s never been played with? Haven’t you ever seen Toy Story 2? (If you weren’t going to click on that link because you, in fact, have a soul and have seen Toy Story 2, you should. It’s a “tottaly fan made!!!!!” video of the scenes when Jessie is given away, and it’s set to S Club 7’s “Never Had A Dream Come True.”)

6. $10?

7. Would you take $8?