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Astrology

Garland-based Prophet: Obama Wins Reelection

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Pastor Joseph William Mwenya runs the Global Fellowship Church out of an industrial park storefront in Garland. His church’s praise and worship leader is a man named Joseph GoForth, capitalization courtesy of Mr. GoForth. He may or may not be the snazziest-dressing prophet, behind Ezekiel. While a teen, his friends nicknamed him “The Undertaker.”

On October 30, the Lord came to him in a dream and told him Barack Obama would win a second term. Well, technically, Mwenya had a dream about Barack Obama during a second term, but every dream fortells the actual future, right? Before you start asking too many questions, know that details are scarce, on purpose.

“Because of the very sensitivity of this issue, I will not get into the details,” he said, while strangely holding but not using an iPad for the duration of the 15-minute video.

Might as well not even vote.

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