Meet Bradford Pearson, Ace FrontBurner Blogger

Bradford Pearson

We announced a little while back that we planned to hire a new staff member in charge of keeping FrontBurner fed throughout each day. We got a lot of great applicants, but the best by far was Bradford Pearson of our sister company People Newspapers.

Brad will officially join the D Magazine online team tomorrow, Nov. 1. His sole mission will be to produce a host of daily blog content that both entertains and informs our readers. We’re excited about the years of newspaper beat reporting, along with a terrific ability to discern and discover the best of what’s online, that he’ll bring to the new gig. Brad hails from the state of New York, attended university in Philadelphia, and worked and lived in Maryland before following a woman to Dallas (I’m assured that she was fully aware that he’d be tagging along.)

Shortly before Brad left our offices for a week to go get married back east, I conducted an IM-based Q&A with him, to help introduce him to long-suffering FrontBurnervians. The transcript follows:

me: So, welcome to FrontBurner. Let’s start by endearing you to our audience. Who’s your least favorite FrontBurner commenter, and why?

Bradford: am I allowed to pick Tim? If so, TIM

me: Beautifully dodged

Bradford: I can’t make them all hate me on day one. they’ll have plenty of time for that

me: You’re recently married (actually about to get married). Why?

Bradford: this is probably a better question for her. I’m just lucky she said yes. I sort-of fell ass-backwards into a great girl, and fooled her into thinking I would be an above-average husband

me: You’re coming to D Magazine after a couple years at People Newspapers. Is your career plan to move from one dying industry to another?

Bradford: you caught onto my plan. I actually started as a child in a coal mine, and plan to end my career as an installer of asbestos tiles. seriously, though, I’m excited about the possibilities the internet provides for magazines and newspapers. I think the death of both is exaggerated

me: Of course it is. But one thing that’s certainly not been exaggerated one bit is the importance of the dearly departed Big Tex to our lives. I realize you’re not a native Texan, but would you say Big Tex was more like the uncle who’d always buy beer for you in high school or the brother-in-law who continues to promise to pay back the $5K you invested in his ostrich farm?

Bradford: I’d say he was more like the high school science teacher who was a bit too obsessed with the “depths of the universe.” friendly at first, but there’s something deep down in there that’s not quite right.

me: What’s the biggest difference between Dallas and your hometown, Poughkeepsie, New York?

Bradford: a quick list:

1. no delis

2. fewer Italians

3. something else having to do with Italy

me: So, from our perspective:

1. no taquerias

2. fewer Mexicans

3. something else having to do with Tex-Mex

Bradford: that’s pretty on-the-nose. there are a few taquerias, but yes, Tex-Mex is usually reserved for the Ortega shelf at Stop and Shop, and I realize I equated taquerias with Tex-Mex, which is incorrect. I’m still learning

me: We’ll give you time. Our commenters might not, but we will.

Bradford: I appreciate that

me: Seriously though, what do you hope to bring to FrontBurner? (13 words or less.)

Bradford: As a reporter, I’d like to come at stories from a different angle. (13, right on the nose)

me: Will that angle be acute or obtuse?

Bradford: that angle will include an increased use of Twitter and Facebook, so probably obtuse

me: OK, lightning round. (Stolen from Inside the Actor’s Studio)

What’s your favorite word?

Bradford: synecdoche

me: What’s your least favorite word?

Bradford: bulbous

me: What turns you on?

Bradford: that little button in the upper right corner

me: What turns you off?

Bradford: complainers

me: What sound do you love?

Bradford: running water

me: What sound do you hate?

Bradford: the cash register door opening

me: What’s your favorite curse word?

Bradford: ass-clown

me: What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?

Bradford: I’ve wanted to be a chef since I was in sixth grade

me: What profession would you not like to do?

Bradford: firing squad executioner

me: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Bradford: “You had a rough start, but we’re glad you shaped up.”

me: And to borrow from the great French television personality, Bernard Pivot, on his show Apostrophes: What’s the largest animal you could kill with your bare hands?

Bradford: I’ve answered this question a few different ways, but I think I’ve settled on goat a swift punch gets it to the ground, then just let instincts take over

me: Thanks, Brad. I think I speak for the entire Fraternity of FrontBurnervians when I say we look forward to trolling you in the comments.

Bradford: “Fraternity of FrontBurnervians” sounds so formal; are there jackets?

me: Oh, there are jackets. But you’ve got to earn yours.

Bradford: challenge accepted


  • franknbeans

    less Zac

    • @franknbeans: Dang, now you’re going to make me blog a bunch of stupid stuff.

  • TLS

    East Coast in the house! Welcome, Ass-clown.

  • D. Shapiro

    He’s going to be awful. Bar setting. RIP Tim Rogers.

  • Prediction: my hourly emails to the FNG pointing out his grammatical and typographic errors will drive him insane by the third week. That’s your over-under. Place your bets accordingly.

  • Glenn Campbell

    He has a name. His name is Bradford Pearson. His name is Bradford Pearson. His name is Bradford Pearson. His name is Bradford Pearson.

  • Marcus

    RIP Inside Corner

  • mynameisbill

    An Iron Maiden back patch would look bitchin’ on one of those FrontBurnervian fraternal jackets. Dang, i’m jealous:(

  • Jason, I thought your exchange with Bradford was a good start. He sounds like an on-the-ball kid.

  • Bizarro Big Texas

    I like the cut of his jib.

  • Great. Someone from Philly…I can’t wait until he starts throwing snowballs at Santas…

    By the way, I applied and was never interviewed…good job D.

    • @LewP: By the way, you have repeatedly used the comments section of FrontBurner to flog your own blog. And you’ve appropriated our content. Good job, LewP.

  • A. B.

    Bradford Pear Trees/Bradford PearSon is still one of my all-time favorite blog posts for some reason.

  • Amy S

    Best thing to come from Poughkeepsie since Rik Smits.

  • By the way Tim, Like D, I have referred and given your rag many compliments and hat tips for stories…you seem like even though you can crawl under a house in a tuxedo, a person who revels in calling commenter’s jobs and harassing them. Your time will come Tim..and good job.

  • Avid Reader

    Tim > LewP

  • mm

    Oh, I get it. LewP = loopy. Or is it Lupe? Either way, good job.

  • mm= tiny Tim….I guess you have to do that when you hide behind A COMPUTER.

  • Don in Huaco

    As long as his favorite tree isn’t a Bradford pear, things will be ok. Otherwise if he grows to big for his space and splits, we’ll know why. Yeah, I know he didn’t name himself. Lets just hope he’s not another short-lived ornamental. Yeah, I just can’t help it. Hope you grow fast and your roots don’t rot. On the other hand, just go with it and name your kids Kiefer and Maxine. You could opt for Moonglow but that’s getting too close to Austin.

  • Don in Huaco

    Yikes, I need an editor.