Tux Challenge Day 6: My Mom’s Nightmare

A little apres-lunch Patron XO Cafe? Why yes, I think I will.
A little apres-lunch Patron XO Cafe? Why yes, I think I will.

This thing is now giving my mother nightmares. Over the weekend, she told me she had a disturbing dream from which she woke sobbing. Now, the fact that her air conditioning went out the same night might have had something to do it. But I asked her to do a little dream journaling. Here’s what Mom sent me:

Seems I was having a party with a lot of naughty kids who wouldn’t keep their feet off the sofa despite my reprimands. Then Tim’s friends came in to warn me that Timmy had way over-served himself. He followed in, barely able to stumble, naked save for a short white dress shirt, mumbling incoherently. He hung on my neck, and I asked where his tuxedo was. “I just threw it away out there!” I ran outside into a strange city downtown, looking everywhere for tux parts. Finally I found the tux jacket in the street just as Tim ran past into the night. I was frantic to find him, knowing what terrible shape he was in. Finally I looked down a dark stairway where a lot of Asian people were shouting. He came out of a doorway where it seemed he’d gone for some strange treatment. Now he had a hat on. His entire head was bright red, body very pale white. I just knew his heart would give out. And that’s when my crying woke me.

Damn the tux bet!


  • Stump’s Agent

    It’s really your diary, right? Sounds so real.

  • John M

    Last night I dreamed I met a nice cop in his tight cop uniform and things got a little frisky and then we found a quiet spot and then he…

    I guess what I’m saying is my dream sounds better.

  • RAB

    Am I the only who finds it more than a little creepy that Tim’s mom would dream about her adult son hanging naked on her neck?

    (And don’t get me started on the part about him “coming out of a doorway” having a “hat” on his “bright red” “head,” with the “very pale white” “body.” Jeezum!)

    • @RAB: Sir, if you’ll reread that, you’ll notice that I was wearing a dress shirt when I was hanging on her neck. Not naked.

  • RAB

    Yeah, but she emphasized that it was a “short” dress shirt. Key detail.

  • Daniel

    How does the reader surmise that the selection is a dream sequence?

    A) Because whenever it’s a strange city downtown, probably it’s a dream
    B) The author’s command of tone and nuance
    C) The author states so explicitly
    D) In the last line, the narrator desribes waking up
    E) When the Asians start shouting for sure
    F) Really it wasn’t a dream, she just wants to tell the story without embarrassing her son too much

    What is the key piece of information that the selection conveys?

    A) Tim Rogers received some kind of strange treatment
    B) If you are told to get your feet off the table, nothing will really happen to you if you don’t
    C) When looking for tux parts, don’t give up too easily!
    D) If you don’t like Asians shouting, best you should stay away from dark stairways
    E) Tim Rogers’s mom knows the terrible shape he is in
    F) Can’t be determined from the information provided

  • Bad poet

    There’s just not enough to work with here. Tuxedo credo, torpedos libido?

  • z

    What does the accompanying photo of a waiter have to do with anything?