Tux Challenge Day 29: Don’t Look Over the Edge

If you’re a fan of the show Louie, then you probably saw the episode a few weeks back wherein Louie goes on a date with Parker Posey’s character. You can read about it on Salon, but it was a strange date. At one point, they’re on the roof of a tall building, and Posey flirts with the edge, which freaks out Louie. He asks her to step back. She tells him not to worry. You see, she says, part of you wants to jump to your death, and that’s why the edge of the building scares you, but I don’t want to kill myself, so it doesn’t scare me. Words to that effect.

I don’t know if that’s why I, too, am driven nervous by heights. It’s an interesting theory. I can tell you that I’ve peered over the edge of a tall building before and thought, “Just a nudge. That’s all it would take.” Similarly, I have a friend who isn’t comfortable around running garbage disposals. It would be so easy to stick your hand in there. I know that feeling, too.

That’s the way I felt this morning when I woke up and began to get dressed. I saw a pair of jeans hanging in my closet and had a twinge of panic. Screw the tuxedo. I could button up those blue bitches, throw on a comfy t-shirt, and stroll in to work feeling loose and free. Just undo 28 days of hard work and suffering. It would be so easy.

Then I got a grip. No way could I let down Patron XO Cafe and the nearly 800 store locations of Al’s Formal Wear. So I grabbed my cummerbund and strapped it on tight.


  • Katy

    Anytime I’m up high, I have this very weird sensation that I could jump if I wanted to. And it freaks. me. out. Thanks a lot for the garbage disposal thing…now I’ll have that irrational fear/urge to deal with.

  • 4squaresperinch

    You could have done a Texas Tuxedo.

  • RAB

    Lame. This is just filler, running out the clock. You need to do one more good stunt before the week is up.

    How about polling the FB nation for ideas?

  • Amy S

    I’ve already said he needs to finish in high style – and air conditioning. Take that $100 bucks you earned mowing the lawn and play the tables in Shreveport. Your drinks are free. Sometimes so are the rooms. Personally I’m a fan of the El Dorado, but Hollywood and Bally’s are equally entertaining. And you might just get lucky.

  • What are you going to wear to work on Day 1 of Back to Normal?

    • @Raya: Thanks for asking. On Tuesday (after we have Labor Day off), I will wear very little to work. You have been warned.

  • LCM

    Tim – Don’t Prince Harry us on Tuesday.