The Most Awesome Kardashian Legal Filing Ever (Involving Herman Cain)

Kim Kardashian is still a Dallas thing, right? I hope so. Because that gives me the excuse I need to post this filing from a guy named Jonathan Kimberly, who lives in Pennsylvania. It was filed June 29. All spelling and grammar are Kimberly’s.

Comes now, the plaintiff, facing imminent danger and bodily harm. On 6/24/21012 I was at the Pizza Hut in Shreveport. Herman Cain was there taste testing his arch rival, and I saw Herman Cain making a sex tape with Kim Kardashian in the mens bathroom of Pizza Hut, and Herman Cain violated campaign finance laws, because Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with his child, and Cain dont want his wife Gloria to know so Kim & Kourtney has been blackmailing Cain to pay hush hush money, $9,999.00 a month, and Cain most give the Kardashian family unlimited Godfathers Pizza gift certificates or the Kourtney Kardashian / Herman Cain love child scandal will get revealed, and the defendants assaulted me with bread sticks in Pizza Hut because I was the only witness to the crime scene, and I got a lump on my head, also a pan pizza straight out the even was smashed in my face by Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian offended me by calling me Pizza The Hut. I’m scared, Herman Cain told me he is going to bury me alive in Tombstone Pizza. I seek a restranging order.

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