Was I Not Clear Before?

STOP POSTING THERMOMETER PICS ON FACEBOOK/TWITTER/INSTAGRAM. And don’t think you can get around it by posting thermometer shots of somewhere else and saying “I wish 🙂 !!!!!!” because that is maybe even worse. I am a human with working nerves and ruined shirts so I obviously know what the temperature is, and I live in Texas, so I could probably guess even if you locked me in a sensory depravation tank, or banged me on the head so I turned into the guy from Memento/Tim. I stay up late, have a laptop, and am an extremely good guesser (the number you’re thinking of right now is 8), so please do not make me lock all of you out of your accounts, because I will do so.

Your “pal,”



  • mynameisbill

    That’s just the heat talking, Zac. It’ll be okay buddy!

  • Sam Merten

    Couldn’t agree more. You’d think in Texas, especially after last summer, hot temps wouldn’t be breaking news. Get used to it or get out.

  • Jerry Sandusky

    I’ll take the Texas heat over where I’m going.

  • mm

    59009 typed on your calculator, then held upside down, looks like “boobs”.

  • Spartacus

    I don’t know about sensory, but you are certainly depraved, “pal.” (Compare http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/depraved with http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/deprived.)

  • Sidd Finch

    7734, figure it out yet, because that is where we are!!!

  • Brandon

    I want you to imagine this post as a “condescending Wonka” meme:

    Oh you’re annoyed people are posting pictures of their car thermometers?
    Tell me about all the really important status updates you could be reading instead.

  • I’ve seen more pleas to stop posting these pics than actual thermometer pics. Stop posting the ‘Stop Posting’ pleas.