Is This Some Old Guy Exercise Secret I Am Unaware of?

This morning, I worked out at the Jewish Community Center. My son goes to summer camp there, and to make that possible, my ex-wife and I have to get a summer membership. So I was trying to make the most of it, instead of wasting that money, as per usual. ANYWAY, when I was getting changed to leave, an older fella walked in. He opened his locker and used the shelf to pop the top off a bottle of Heineken. Then he poured about two inches of it into a water bottle. Then he filled up the rest of the bottle with Perrier. Almost all of this seems like something I would not want to drink while exercising. But I have to wonder: does this guy know something I don’t?


  • MCC

    You can’t drank all day unless you start in the morning.

  • That Heineken tastes terrible and the only way to force it down your gullet is to cut it with even more water?

  • While I was making my traditional morning drink, which I call a Surrender Monkey Blitzkrieg, I caught you staring at my ass, Zac.

  • DM

    It’s used to clean the Yamicha post worl out.

  • Daniel

    Tim, Heineken is Dutch not German. Your drink should be called Surrender Monkey Woodenshoes.

  • LJT

    Exercising any other way than buzzed is just stupid.

  • Wes Mantooth

    Zac, you have unwittingly stumbled upon the source of Old Man Strength. Kudos.

  • @Daniel: Surrender Monkey Windmill?

  • Steve

    All this time I thought the old guy exercise secret (Downtown 24 hr fitness edition) was – HOLY CRAP would you old dudes please at least wear a towel while standing around complaining about Obama?

  • Real AP Style Book

    Guy probably has arthritis. Beer is a lot easier on the stomach in the morning than most pain killers.

  • Avid Reader

    Surrender Tulip Monkey

  • TLS

    Hair of the dog, for sure. He’s just not going full on dog.

  • towski

    @Steve – that goes double for the Downtown Y. It’s the nexus of old man nekkidness.

  • ProjectGirl

    @Steve – I work out there too — betting we could swap stories