Q: I know you must be pretty busy, with the opening coming up soon, so I don’t want to take up much of your time.
A: Oh, stop — you’re fine.
Q: OK, OK — well, I guess the reason why I called is I just saw a post on Unfair Park by Jim Schutze —
A: I love that guy!
Q: Really? I mean, it seems like you guys have been at odds since the beginning.
A: Ah, that’s just Jim being Jim. I wouldn’t ask him to be any different. I mean, yeah, he says some pretty, let’s say, outlandish stuff sometimes, but who doesn’t? I was at a party a few weeks ago and I told this railroad trestle that I had the tensile strength of a small moon. Good thing we were all s–t-housed, or someone might have tested me. [Laughs.] Anyway, Jimmy’s a good dude.
Q: [Laughs]. Well, OK. Anyway, I just didn’t know if you’d seen this quote: “Architecturally speaking, it’s an OK bridge.”
A: Oh, wow, no. He really said that? That is, uh, well, that is high praise from Jim. He really said that?
Q: Yep.
A: Whoa. Man, I don’t know what to say. Hold on. I have to text Santiago. Oh man, oh man, he is going to p–s his pants. [Laughs.]
Q: OK, so, while I have you here, what do you think of the nickname some people have come up for you: Large Marge?
A: [Long pause.] Well…
Q: What is it?
A: Well, I don’t find it to be very flattering.
Q: It’s just a nickname. You know, you’re a bridge, so…I just don’t think anyone was implying anything.
A: Like, what? Do you think I’m fat? I mean, I have 58 cables, but I think I carry it well.
Q: No, you do. Totally.
A: You’re just saying that.
Q: No. No, no, no. Of course not. I would have guessed, you know, 20, 25 cables max. At the most.
A: You’re sweet.
Q: Eh.
A: So. How bored are you?
Q: You have no idea.
A: [Laughs.] Thought so. Anything else?
Q: Not really. Do you mind if we just listen to MC Shan’s “The Bridge” for a minute?
A: Of course not. Hit it.
