Dear Derek:
Listen, kiddo. Your performance on the mound in Game 4 was spectacular. The Rangers wouldn’t be headed back to St. Louis up 3-2 without your fine work. So I’ll give you the weak mustache. Have some fun. You’ve earned it.
But now I need you to sit up straight in your chair and listen carefully. It’s time to act your age. Specifically, I’m talking about the top of the third inning last night when the Fox guys gave you a headset in the dugout and you got to do an interview with Joe Buck. You’ll recall that the Rangers were losing 2-0 at that point. It was a tense game. A lot was on the line. That is not the time to do your Harry Caray and Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. Do you understand me?
Yes, yes. This Rangers team is all about playing hard and having fun. Claw, antlers, ducks on a pond, all that. I get it. But there is a time and place for everything. Last night, you embarrassed yourself. Please don’t let it happen again.
