With a standoff over insurance issues threatening their ability to stay in Pioneer Park, members of the Occupy Dallas protest committee knew they would have to act fast. So around 8 this morning, as light rain fell, the leader of the group’s so-called Committee of Public Safety–he wore a Guy Fawkes mask and wouldn’t give his name–was directing a Ryder truck as it backed into a handicapped space, not far from the park’s famous cattle statuary. Over in one corner of the “main committee” tent, meantime, a woman who identified herself only as “Mrs. LaFarge” was knitting intently.
Not far away, six or seven other committee members were poring over street maps of North Dallas and Highland Park, marking red “X’s” over the home addresses of the area’s most prominent rich people. Soon, it all became clear: Another group of four or five protesters began unloading two, 6-feet-tall guillotines out of the Ryder truck. Then they proceeded to roll the “1792 Machines” on dollies across the park, toward a little wooden stage that had been set up near the cattle. Reading to reporters off a sheet of paper, the guy in the Fawkes mask said the afternoon of guillotining to follow–while “really, really regretful”–nevertheless would be necessary to “send a signal” and to “advance the cause of the 99%,” who “have been kept down for too long, in chains.” Tomorrow, he added, they would worry about the insurance.
NOTE: THE PRECEDING HAS BEEN A SATIRICAL ARTICLE. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
