Monday, August 8, 2022 Aug 8, 2022
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Sports

How Not To Qualify for the Byron Nelson

By Tim Rogers |

I have this friend — well, he’s not really a friend. He’s really just a guy who berates me as he takes my money at the poker table. So I guess that makes him more of an enemy. Anyway, this enemy is a very good golfer. Not good enough to make a living playing golf, as it turns out, but good enough to try to make a living playing golf. He is trying to qualify for the HP Byron Nelson Championship this and tells this story:

Yesterday’s pre-qualifier for the Nelson has one of the best golf stories ever. There are 266 people who paid $200 to enter — shocking enough right there. However, we are playing both the Dye Course and Ranch Course at Stonebridge. If you aren’t familiar the courses, they are at two locations about five minutes apart.

A guy with the 2:09 tee time went to the tee right at 2:05. Only problem is, he was at the wrong course. In order to go as fast as possible, he takes off running to the car with his driver and tells his caddy to meet him at the other course (separate cars obviously). He gets to the tee at the right course in time to avoid being DQed but still gets a 2-shot penalty for being a few minutes late. No sweat, he tees off and heads down the fairway. He gets to his ball, but his caddy and clubs still haven’t made it. Since he is already late, he goes ahead and hits his second shot from 100 with his driver — and his third, fourth, and fifth, before tapping in for a tidy 8 with his 2-shot penalty.

His caddy and clubs finally get there after he has teed off on No. 2, a 201-yard par 3, with his driver and says, “Sorry, we got lost.” What did he mean by “we” got lost, you ask? Well, here is the absurd part: his playing partner for the 2:09 at the Ranch was also on the tee at the wrong course and had to do THE EXACT SAME THING since their caddies were following each other from one course to the other.