Saturday, August 13, 2022 Aug 13, 2022
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Politics & Government

It’s Time — To Look At Mike Rawlings’ Campaign Ad

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It’s called “It’s Time.” JJJJJJump.

RAWLINGS

0:01 — AMERICAN FLAG. Finally time to take our city back!

0:02 — “It’s time to become the safest city in America.” Object lesson: tons of kids playing in a front yard, made safe by the natural force-field properties of a red-blooded AMERICAN Mike Rawlings for Dallas yard sign. We need more cops and more Mike Rawlings signs.

0:06 — It’s time for a woman to make a dirty joke with a punch line that apparently involves masturbation, and it’s time for her male friend to laugh at that joke.

0:09 — “It’s time to embrace our neighborhoods, our diversity, and our sense of community.” Which means meeting black people. Which means, obviously, we have to go to a barbershop, because in political ads you can only find black people at a barbershop, church, or on a stoop in Harlem.

0:12 — Natural segue: Roger Staubach, in an uncredited cameo, just mixing and mingling with the regular folks at some sort of regular-folks diner, while wearing his regular-guy polo shirt. DIVERSITY!

Then a few other sentences that begin with “It’s time…” mostly having to do with making our schools better for the next generation. Which leads to…

0:24 — Rawlings in a classroom — in rolled-up sleeves because that is what you do with your sleeves when you are GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS — doling out high-fives.