Dwaine Caraway’s Cop Car Confessional Released

At long last, below you will find the Dwaine Caraway audio (courtesy of our friends at the Observer). It’s interesting — but not in the way many of us expected it would be. Though he is foul-mouthed, Caraway is calm and collected as he explains to cops what went down in his house that night between him and wife. It really is easy to see where the guy is coming from. He’s trapped in his game room. His wife, state Rep. Barbara Mallory Caraway, has a knife. How long can he remain trapped? He has to come out eventually. And when he does, he’ll have to protect himself. Someone will get hurt. The only course of action? Call the police to help diffuse the situation. Sure, I’m with him.

Except. But.

Are we really to believe that this whole thing started, as Caraway says, because his wife was throwing out some of his aprons and he asked her not to? Why did Barbara freak out so violently? Because, as Caraway says on the tape, she might have a chemical imbalance? Or because, as he says later, she can’t handle power?

Then there are the clothes strewn about the living room floor. Caraway mentions these to cops several times. He wants them to know that his house doesn’t normally look like that. He’s been organizing his closets, he says, and that’s why the suits and so forth are all over the place. Riiight. That’s usually what I do, too, when I have people over to watch football games. I take out all my clothes and spread them around the living room so my buddies can help me tidy up my closets during commercial breaks.

Dwaine Caraway is a liar. He’s been lying throughout this whole process. I feel for him on the marital discord stuff. He’s clearly got problems on the homefront. But he wasn’t telling the cops the truth about what, exactly, went down that night.

The question remains: what is Caraway trying to cover up?