There you go. We’ll go point for point after the jump.
0:01: BOOM — right from the beginning, big sweeping gesture with the hands. That’s right, Tom. Show off the money makers. And also: buy a second “casual” shirt.
0:10: Okaaaaaay, we get it. Knock it off with the hand gestures.
0:15: And we have already packed in, like, every generic talking point possible.
0:20: Nope, he had a few more. And now we get a shot of the convention center hotel being built on, hm, I guess some sort of prairie?
0:26: FAST PEOPLE WALKING MONTAGE MEANS BUSINESS IS HAPPENING I LIKE BUSINESS
0:32: Kind of already bored with the I’m a Conservative stuff so: have Leppert’s shoulders always been that narrow?
0:38: DOUGHNUTS. Also: “I know black people. Or, at least, I am aware of them.”
0:50: If you drifted, a quick recap within this recap: the government has become an obstacle, jobs jobs jobs, BLUE STEEL look, hand chops, GOVERNMENT BAD especially Washington, future not being won.
1:09: Brings up “reckless spending,” so I assume he was talking about his time at Washington Mutual, or the hotel. Not sure. Mesmerized by his eyes.
1:14: “I approach the issues of life and marriage as matters of faith.” And the countdown for a potential gay tryst scandal starts…now.
1:40: “In the Senate, I’ll ask myself the following question…” I bet you a million dollars it has something to do with limited government. Also in the running: panda bears. Or the new Panda Bear solo album. Or glove maintenance.
1:46: “Does this reduce the influence of Washington on our families and businesses?” PAY UP, SUCKAS.
1:58: Spoiler alert: If the answer is no, he won’t support it. Unless Carol Reed says he should.
2:00: Skyline cloud montage — BANG BANG BANG.
2:36: He just finished up taking credit for everything David Kunkle ever did.
2:47: “I grew up poor” sequence: ENGAGE.
3:20: I’m going to bust up Washington like a high school kegger. Maybe a slight paraphrase.