Amy Turner Got Punched in the Face

I’m coming to this a little late, but the Aspen Daily News is reporting that Amy Turner (she of the wealthy Turner clan whose paterfamilias made his bones distributing Dr Pepper) got clocked pretty good New Year’s Eve by a Boston woman at a fancy private club called Caribou. The Aspen Daily News has some writers on staff who are apparently auditioning to work at the Onion. To wit:

“According to the police report, a bouncer at the Caribou told responding officers that he witnessed Lopez throw approximately ’10 haymakers’ at Turner when he went to break up a fight outside the ladies’ room. A haymaker is a type of punch, or a wild swing using all the person’s might.”


  • Chris Chris

    Haymaker? I hardly even know her.

  • Jason

    You don’t want to fuck with those crazy Irish Boston bitches.

  • Ron Stinkyfinger

    She’s one classy girl!

  • columbiasooner

    What a scene…

    “Apparently she was real jealous of her and was smarting off to her,” Turner recalled Thursday. “It became more obvious what this was all about.”

    When Hutchinson was verbally threatened, her mother left the bathroom to find a bouncer and have Lopez thrown out of the Caribou, Turner said.

    Hutchinson then left the bathroom and a minute later, Turner came out and saw Lopez licking Garcia’s face, according to Turner. Lopez then allegedly attacked Turner.

  • Don’t Believe Turner

    Her parents must be proud…have another drink!

  • yello

    Surprise, surprise. Doubt this is the first battle she’s gone through…or will be the last. Drunk, drunk, drunk.

  • LakeWWWooder

    I’ve been to the Caribou a couple of times- it’s inhabited by long-in-the-tooth cougars.

  • Incognizant

    Our Trust Fund Kids at work. Her parents must be so proud!