Live Blog From Kunkle Retirement Party

Gloria Campos is the emcee. She introduced David Kunkle and wife Sarah. Then she called him the “best of the best.”

Mary Suhm is doing a top 10 list of reasons she’s thankful for him. It’s a mix of serious and funny. No 8: because she will no longer have to explain to people why the top cop in Dallas rides a lime green Vespa. No 4: “With any luck he will be the only Dallas police chief to fall in love with a City Hall reporter, get married, and wind up on the cover of D Magazine.”

2:27 — Mayor Leppert talks about how much Kunkle cares for the city and the cops he led. He remembers seeing Kunkle at the hospital in the middle of the night, after something had gone wrong (more or less his words). If I’m not mistaken, Leppert actually choked up a bit. Very heartfelt.

2:30 — Now Laura Miller takes the podium. She says she remembers when she was on the Council and she first met him. She recalls he was wearing horrible Buster Brown shoes, he had a cowlick, and she had to ask Ted Benavides why the heck he hired Kunkle. Later, she says, she had to thank Benavides. Then she talks about the book “Good to Great,” and how Kunkle exemplifies the lessons of that book (in fact, he and his department were featured Ina “Good to Great” documentary). She says Kunkle was the best chief she’s seen in Dallas, from her time as a reporter to her time on the Council.

2:36 — Reverend Ronald Wright, civil rights activist, points out that, judging from Kunkle’s photo from the program, he used to be a handsome man. Then, before getting serious, he tells this joke: “Granny Smith wasn’t texting and driving. She was knitting and driving. A Dallas cop saw this and told said, ‘Pull over!’ To which Granny Smith replied, ‘No, they’re socks.'” The crowd loved it. Wright finished his remarks by pointing out that there are several people seated in the front row (his assistant chiefs) who would make a good replacement for him.

2:46 — Now comes the Channel 8-produced video. It’s good. And, yes, it’s soundtrack features Green Day’s “Good Riddance.” Right. I hope you have the time of your life. That one.

2:58 — Now a series of gift presentations from the tops of every law enforcement outfit, federal and local, that you can think of. The Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms guy gives him a glass plaque. Zac and I agree, though, that it would have been cooler if he’d given Kunkle a bottle of Jack, a pack of Pall Malls, and a Desert Eagle .45.

3:11 — The heads of the various police associations say their words. Glenn White, head of the biggest association, the Dallas Police Association, a man who isn’t one of Kunkle’s biggest fans, gets up and says merely that he’s had a lot of lunches with the chief and not once has the chief ever reached for his wallet. He says, “My credit card is glad you’re retiring.” Then he smashes a glass plaque on the stage, yells, “Peace out, beeyotch!” and walk away from the podium with both middle fingers upturned. (Not really.)

3:28 — Finally we get to Kunkle’s remarks. He thanks City Manager Mary Suhm at length, calling her the greatest city manager Dallas has ever had. The odd thing about that is Suhm ducked out just before Kunkle took the podium. I’m sure she’s got a busy calendar and would have preferred to hear Kunkle speak. Rough timing. He acknowledges that he had to make tough decisions at times that might have led the rank and file to think he wasn’t on their side. Not true, he says. What’s good for the citizens is good for the police. He says the city’s best days are ahead, and he only wishes he were 21 and could do it all over again. (He also mentions he will be working part time with the University of North Texas, still staying involved with policing matters.)

3:50 — Here’s an exit interview I conducted with the chief. (If don’t listen to the Ticket, you’ll probably just be confused. Sorry for that.)