Meet Peter Simek, the FNG

You’ve now seen a couple posts from him, so it’s time to formally introduce Peter Simek to the FrontBurner Nation. Peter is a boomerang baby. He used to work at People Newspapers, where he helped launch Oak Cliff People. Then he left us to work someplace where I imagine they made him wear a tie. In his spare time, he launched something called Renegade Bus. What happened was, Wick came to work one day in a foul mood. He wanted to kill something. So I said, “Hire Peter Simek. That’ll be like when they blew up Alderaan with the Death Star. Debris everywhere.” So that’s what Wick did. Peter started work here on Monday. On his first day, he kicked our copy editor out of her desk, using the same philosophy he learned in jail. You know, find the biggest guy and punch him in the mouth. Let everyone know right away that you’re a badass. Ostensibly, Peter will be covering the arts for us, but really he’ll be keeping an eye on my cellphone, which I tend to leave in the bathroom when I’ve been playing poker on it. Peter did not get a B12 shot today. Loser.