1. What’s up, La Familia FrontBurnervians? It’s been a rough week, hasn’t it? After the nationwide Project Coronado sweep of your cartel that netted 729 pounds of meth and 300 arrests, cops then found an additional 300 pounds of meth in one of your stash houses in Mesquite. My advice: be careful with the rest of your meth! A good real estate agent can help.
2. What would you do if you won $1 million? Willis Willis — a man whose parents either lacked imagination or had an odd sense of humor — says that with his $1 million, he’ll send his daughters to college, get a root canal, and, if there’s anything left, buy a set of golf clubs. Problem is, Willis is the guy whom a convenience store clerk tricked out of his winnings before going on the lam. He’s speaking for the first time about the episode. My advice: be careful with your winning lottery ticket! A good lawyer can help.
3. Today, Dallas County will announce where it will hold its first public vaccination clinic for the virus. My advice: be careful around all humans and wash your hands like a madman. A good doctor can help. Or a good priest. (Wick, I couldn’t find a link to our Best Priests in Dallas issue. I’ll ask the web team about this when I get into the office.)
