1. STOP. All of you who are driving the wrong way on the Tollway, just stop. It’s not like this is a new request. Those 30 new signs didn’t work. Logic didn’t work. So now sensors, which will alert officials when a vehicle is going the wrong way, are going to be installed. The thought is the sensors will give enough warning so officials can get to the vehicle to prevent an accident (hopefully).
2. YIELD. Well, not everyone has to yield, just the lawyer who was running to the nearest car dealership with the $1 million he received after his client was exonerated last year. His client, Steven Charles Phillips, said he didn’t provide any services. The lawyer said, “You’re free, aren’t you?” (At least, that’s what I’m assuming the lawyer would say.)
3.GO. And take Fido with you. But not without this nifty, new pet carrier designed specifically to fit underneath all the chairs on all the planes that American Airlines fly. The mesh sides let pets see what’s going on. Which is important, you know, so they can judge the shoes of those around them.